Mom/ Amanda Herrera (Daughter) Since this is more of a celebration of my mothers life, I’d like to start out by saying that I am the person I am today because of her. Although I was really young when we lost her, I learned so much from her from the short time we had. Her strength and valor is what I admired most, there was nothing she couldn’t face and with positivity. She always had a smile on her face and always knew how to put a smile on other people’s faces. Everyone loved that beautiful smile. I remember how contagious her laughter was and how’d we giggle over silly little things together. I remember always trying to convince her to let me listen to z100, but she wouldn’t let me because the music wasn’t appropriate and how’d she only let me and Andie play with educational toys. She was a good mom, but not only that, she was our friend. She was accepting, she loved me and Andie for who we were and I know that if she were still here, I would never have to feel judged. Although I can make countless mistakes and don’t always make the smartest choices, I know she’s proud of me. And if I’m ever going through a tough time, I know she’s watching over me. I can’t tell you how many times just finding a little white feather have lifted my spirits. And then there’s the gift she left me, Andie. I see so much of my mom in Andie its crazy. When she laughs, I can hear my moms laughter, I see her intelligence, her excitement, her nourishment. She makes me so proud every day and I know why my mom took pride in being our mom. And I’m proud to be her daughter. Even though, I can’t remember everything about her, judging by the stories that people tell about her and standing here with all the people who loved her and feeling all the love in this room, I could tell how wonderful of a person she was and I can only hope to be half the woman she was. My mom and I had a special song together, which was I hope you dance by Lee Ann Womack, she dedicated this song to me when she was sick, which was one of the last memories I have of her and something that I will always cherish. And so I will leave here by saying "mom, I will always dance with you"
For Momma / Andrea Herrera (Daughter) Hello. I apologize in advance for how utterly terrible I am at public speaking, but this is such an important occasion that I'm willing to come up and stutter and embarrass myself for it. Anyways, as you all probably know, I only got to spend four years of my life getting to know my mother. And unfortunately, you don't have very good memory of your early life. So it's very difficult to remember much about my time with her. I assume I can't tell you much about her you don't already know, but I can tell you about my own personal relationship with her. My favorite memory of my mother is when she sang You Are My Sunshine to me on the couch by the window. I cried a lot when I was only a lil toddler, and she'd bring me into her lap and sing the song to me and I'd relax. She had a very calming voice, a voice that always made you feel okay. I remember we ate a LOT of chicken nuggets when she was in the hospital. I remember she could ALWAYS make everyone smile and laugh even on their worst days. I remember her smile, most importantly, radiant as ever. The thing is, for me, she's not really far at all. I'm not going to act like I'm extremely religious, because I'm honestly not. But the main thing that keeps me in contact with my spirituality in general is my mother. I have always felt very much connected to her. When I was younger, I had dreams nearly every night that she would appear and we'd just talk casually while I was in my bed until I 'fell asleep' within my dream realm. Let me tell you something, there is nothing quite as incredible as seeing that smile again. As I grew older, I still always talked to her. Now, I didn't get responses in such a way that the clouds parted and her voiced echoed all throughout town, though that would be super cool. Instead, I was surrounded by an undoubtable feeling of safety and warmth and love. It always felt like her way of saying, "you're okay." Now I find her voice in songs and the wind and the books I read and sometimes in myself. Whenever i do something extra special, I feel an overwhelming sense of 'Vanessa's daughter-ness,' you know? If you were ever just casual bystanders in school for example, you could often see me holding up a test paper with a good grade on it and smiling at the ceiling and it would probably look real weird, but I gotta show her!!! I have a basic idea of what life would be like if my mother were still walking along the earth. I can imagine she's the type of mom who is a really good listener and has a kind heart and open mind. I see her as very adventurous with loads of funny stories to tell. And I don't just say that because I'm thinking wishfully, I mean, I can also see her nagging me about grades and vegetables, but it's all so incredibly worth it. But you can always dwell on how things would be if something hadn't happened, but this is our reality. When we get to heaven or whatever is out there, we can live out our dream worlds with her. My point is my mother and I still have a beautiful relationship. My mother is still present. Things may be very very different, but she's still watching over us, and I love her beyond any words I can even try to form today. I know in her final letter to me and my sister, she talked about how she wished she could hug us more, but mom, I promise you this: I have never once felt like I was not warmly and safely wrapped in your embrace. Thank you for that.
hello love / Andie Herrera (Daughter)
hi mama! Another year goes on today and it's gotten a little easier I guess but I still miss you terribly. I went to visit you today with the family and just sat by you. It was very cold but I felt comforted seeing little flowers sprouting out right by you. Like a greeting from you, or hope, or both. I have some updates though I can't get into all of them here hehe but you'd be getting a lot of news from me right now if you were physically here. Art is by far my best subject in school--oops. My art teacher said I should've become an art major, but I'm interested in zoology, I'm still pursuing my childhood dream. I'm still quite the sentimental gal and cry on the regular but honestly I have soft petals surrounded by thorns which is nice. I got rid of the toxic people in my life and avoid confrontation unless it's something I'm really passionate about. I have a lot of knowledge and with knowledge comes rage and sometimes it erupts on unsuspecting bigots. That was totally shade to my Spanish teacher. Anyway, my favorite colors are brown and green. I love brown because I've learned to admire the pigmentation of the minority, whether it's my skin tone, or any other ethnicity. It's all so beautiful and I wish the world would acknowledge that. The country's in a rut. You celestial beings are lucky you don't have to worry about these things cause, sheesh, down here its messy. I imagine it's orderly and calm up there. anyway, I guess I am telling you all this because I want you to know me. I worry and fear so deeply that you never got the chance to get to know me so here I am. I'm very timid, love with everything I've got, have a billion flaws, am developing my sense of self, and hope every day to be someone you'd be proud of. I love you.
-Your very own messy kid, Andie. Close
!!!!!/ Andie Herrera (Daughter)
hello momma! i haven't been on this site for a while, but now that i'm here i feel all sorts of emotions. mostly pride. i take a lot of pride in being your daughter, you know. you were just on my mind, and i ended up here. i was young when you went to passed, but i know a lot by reading these. i know you were wonderful. i remember that. and i even feel it, all the time. it's when i feel most confident that i feel most like your daughter. as you probably know, a lot has happened this year already. it's been really really rough, honestly. thirteen years old seems like a bad idea to me. heh. if you were here, we'd talk all about it. i already hear you lots, all the stuff you'd say. i really feel your presence in my life. i don't know in what way. you know pretty much everything about me, since you're watching, so you know i'm not all too religious (sorry). i don't really know in what way i sense you, but i know exactly what kind of person you are. i know how close of friends we'd be. maybe it's just your blood in me, i feel like i inherited some sort of part of you, you know? like not that i'll be the next you or anything, but like you're with me, in me. you're in my blood, tickling my veins, flowing through me and telling me jokes. you're in my mind, helping me make choices and see the good in people. you're in my heart, helping me face tough times with a brave face, cause i don't have much courage on my own. i don't know. i just feel like you're helping me out. like that's our little secret, our special bond. that's why my hair and fingernails grow out fast, cause i am a human being and a half. i hope that makes sense. no, it doesn't. it doesn't make sense. but if you somehow get this silly letter, you'll understand it perfectly. you're my hero, mom, i love you. we all love you. update on everyone else: amanda is NINETEEN. it's crazy. she's become my sunshine, my best friend. we're each other's family, so don't worry about how we're holding up. as a team we're tough as nails. my grandma is really really cool. and she's really on my back about school and my grades, which is admittedly really good, cause i need to get my grades up. i know that's like your #1 priority, and I'm on it. My grandpa is really cool too. He's really trying to work with me, and I'm very difficult, so i greatly appreciate that. They're both darlings, absolute darlings. they've been there for us more than you'd think humanly possible. and FAMILY UPDATE!!!!!! WE'RE GONNA GET A D O G !!!!!!! that's if i bring my grades up (of course i'm gonna bring my grades up i love dogs!!) oh oh oh and and update on your darling brother and sister, they're really wonderful, which you know. they've been there for us always. we're really in good hands with everyone in the family. i've learned to feel really comfortable and safe with family, and i'm not one to feel comfortable and safe anywhere really. but over the past few years, i've learned they care more than i've given them credit for. i think they're really swell. i love them and i feel loved back. i just really think i've grown so much closer to everyone. we all miss you. we'd all be the wildest bunch if you were still here. i mean, the family's mild, but if you were here, it would really be a party. i dunno. i just really wanted to let you know that you impact my life every day. you inspire me to be a decent person. i miss you, but we're bonded at the same time. i just really like talking to you. i wish i could talk to you forever. but anyway. i think i've talked a little too much (that's a habit of mine oops.) i just hope you know that you really mean the world to me and that you're always in my mind. i miss you. i love you. i want to make you proud. Close
Just saying Hello / Stephanie Oquendo (Niece)Read >>
Just saying Hello / Stephanie Oquendo (Niece)
Sometimes I sit and regret not being there enough. You were such a great person and I was fortunate to be able to call you Tia. Even though I am terrible at it I try very hard to be like you. I have always wanted to be like my Tia. Such a strong, family oriented smart, level headed person. Even in the way I speak to Christopher I try to speak to him the way you would the girls. Tia your girls came out so intelligent and beautiful.... Just like their mother. Anyway I know I don't post here often but I miss you terribly and I love you so very much. Thank you for being such a wonderful Person and Tia. Thank you for being my influence! Close
Andie/ Amanda Herrera (Daughter)
My goodness mom, I wish you could see my little sister. She is something to be proud of, She really is. I can't fathom the thought that she is only 12 years old. She is wise beyond her years. She's growing to be so smart and beautiful. She sings beautifully, she loves music so much. I hope she does something with that passion she has for it, she actually has so much going for her. She's my best friend in the whole wide world. Words can't describe how much she means to me. We're attached at the hip. I know you'd be happy to see that we get along so well. She makes it hard for me to think about what I wanna do with college life. I don't wanna be separated from her. I wish I could take her with me when I move out or if i go away for college haha. I love her so much. You know, I don't go on this website too often, so when i went on tonight and read the little notes that Andie left, i got really emotional. I dont know, she is literally my life, I'd do anything in the world for her, just to make her the happiest she could be. Honestly mom, I mean, I'm okay, but Andie, shes a treasure. She is really something to be proud of. Anyways, I wanted to let someone know that and I know you always listen. I love and miss you mommy. Goodnight <3 Close
Exciting news / Andie Herrera (Daughter)
Amanda told me today that sometime, whenever she gets a car, we are going to visit you for an entire day! We are going to sit and have a picnic and talk, and laugh, and cry. I honestly can't wait to have some time as just the three of us. I've been missing that a lot. I wish we could do that sometime soon, but she can't drive yet:-\. So I will wait patiently, counting down the days. And today is mother's day, and I am missing you kind of terribly. I love you and I hope you are very happy in heaven. Take care mommy :) <3 Close
A favor please? / Andie Herrera (Daughter)
Hi again! I just wanted to ask you if you could keep an eye on my wonderful sister, Amanda! Please please please please please just help me be sure that she is happy as could be. She deserves it.. and I guess that's it, really. Thank you! I love you very much! Close
Hello mommy :) / Andie Herrera (Daughter)
So tonight I was sitting in my room (which somehow only two years ago used to be my grandpa's room. Changes are crazy!), and "You Are My Sunshine" came on.And I remembered when you used to sing to me with that simple calming song, I had yet to understand the words. And for a while, I thought I was going to cry, but instead I came onto your website. I read the wonderful biography Tia Monica wrote about you. I smiled so hard. And yes,I actually did cry. Partially because I was sad from missing you, but mostly from the happiness of knowing that you were happy with your life with us here and that you are now happily in heaven, this I'm sure of. I looked through photos with your beautiful smile and bright eyes; you looked happy as could be. I noticed that the people around you seemed happy too. They were probably happy to be around such a wonderful person who truly knew how to start a party, from what I've read and heard, karaoke queen?[Now I get that you had some very helpful practice before singing to me!] I know I was very young when you were sick and when you were sent to heaven, but I feel like I know you so well. From everything I've heard, read, actually personally experienced, and also because I know that you are still with me. And I love you so much. You are my hero. You are the best mothering figure I could possibly have to look up to. And you know as well as I do that things here are pretty hard right now. But you motivate me to keep going and be strong like you. I come from a family of brave fighters. Thank you for being my inspiration, my hero, my guardian angel, and my brave, wonderful mother. I hope you somehow reach these words of thanks and are smiling that beautiful smile of yours. That smile truly motivates me. I love you with all my heart! Your little girl, Andie. Close
If flowers grow in heaven Lord then pick a bunch for me ▬ place them in Vanessa's arms and tell her they're from me. Tell her that I love and miss her and when she turns to smile ( ◕‿◕｡) ღ ❤ place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for a while. ♥ ♥ Happy Mother's Day Vanessa I Love & miss you!♥♥♥
Someone once said that time heals all pain I think that person did not lose their sister their best friend. Its been five years since you went to heaven and the pain of losing you is still here in my heart as raw as it was on November 12th. I miss you so much when I need to speak to someone. I miss you when I see your girls and think about all the dreams and hopes you had for them. I miss you when I feel lonely living so far away from family and my friends. But Ness it is not only in the sad and alone times that I miss you I miss you most when the family is together and we are not able to hear your laughter along with ours. I miss you when I see your girls going through so many milestones and you not there to guide them as you would have liked I miss our togetherness as sisters and best friends. Although faith tells us that you are always with us not hearing and seeing you when new family moments memories and traditions come along is hard to accept. On all those moments I take a minute and think of you and how you would react on what you would say. So when people see me smile out of the blue I hope that they know that I just thought of you. I love you and miss you till I see you again dear sister-friend.
Thinking of you / Jenni Sanchez (Sister-in-law)Read >>
Thinking of you / Jenni Sanchez (Sister-in-law)
Just sitting here in my room thinking of you and how you've been gone for 5 yrs. Time just passes by so quickly. I am reminded of you in songs and By the wonderful memories that I hold so dear. I am especially reminded of you each and every day when my Jess watches tv. Thank you for leaving us such a wonderful reminder of you in her I love that she has something of you. I just really wish my babies would have had the opportunity to be a part of your life they would have loved their Tia Vanessa so very much. Thank you for always watching over them. We miss you Vanessa so very much!!! Close
Thank you Lord of having an Angel watch over us / Allen Alvia (Cousin)Read >>
Thank you Lord of having an Angel watch over us / Allen Alvia (Cousin)
Hey Vanessa I thank God everyday for giving me the pleasure of allowing me to know you and welcoming me into your life. I always remember the big smile and hug I received when we first met in the barbecue. You are missed much by so many and your life will always live on by us. Love You Close
Happy Birthday My Angel! / Jackie
Vanessa Now That Itʼs Your Birthday Thereʼs Something Iʼd Like To Say While Reflecting On The Memories You And I Made Along The Way I Can Remember Growing Up You Were Always My Best Friend Always Willing To Listen To Me Your Ear Many Times Youʼd Lend You Were There When I Was Excited And Were There For Disappointments Too There Is Not Enough Money In This World To Repay Anyone Kind As You I Look Forward To Being With You In Heaven Where An Eternity We Will Spend Always Together In Godʼs Kingdom With You......My Very Best Friend Happy Birthday Vanessa
Happy Birthday in Heaven / Monica Crespo (Sister)Read >>
Happy Birthday in Heaven / Monica Crespo (Sister)
Ness, another birthday without you. If wishes would come true it would be that we could have you here with us again. So many things have happened since you have been gone, some good and some bad. In the good times you come to mind and I think how we would be enjoying them together. In the bad times you come to mind and I try to think how you and I would try to figure them out together. I can also feel your hand at things that seem impossible and I know that we as a family are keeping you pretty busy. I know that you are there with us, and I know that you will make sure that everything will work out.
They say time heals all pain but time just makes you get used to the pain. The pain that is always there, that dull ache in my heart that wishes to hear your voice, the sound of your laugh, and the smile that always showed that you accepted and loved me with all my faults.
I now live with the many memories that we had, at work and home. I feel blessed because there are people that live many years and they have never experienced the kind of relationship that I had with you, my sister, my confidant, my co-worker, and my bestfriend. God may have chosen you because he needed a true angel to be there for each of us as we reunite where the best is yet to be.
I pray that you feel the kiss and hug that I send your way. May God always keep you in his Glory.
Missing you / Alex Sanchez (Brother)
It's going on 4 yrs since you left this world, I can't believe how much has happened since that time. Today I logged on your memorial site and I started to look at all the pictures and reading all the tributes. It's truly amazing how much people have changed, how all the kids have grown, how things are so different. I wonder if you're happy or satisfied, disappointed or truly happy with all that has happen with all of us. I really wish I knew. I also start to wonder how things would've been if you were still with us. How your girls would be, How nice it would be if my kids ask for their Tia Vanessa like they do all their other aunts. How nice would it be to see our dad happy again. Maybe the family would be a bit closer than it is today. I really think you were the bond that held us all together. It's just not the same, it will never be the same. We probably all have accepted your passing but I tell you sometimes It's hard to still think you're gone. I just close my eyes sometimes and remember about you how I used to see you in the hospital and the first thing you would say is "Hey bro", and then I always remember how much you suffered and that hurts. You were so tough and brave. In a couple of days you would have turned 34 we probably would have all gathered at your house and cut you a cake like we did every year. I will think of you and prayer for you on this day, I will ask the Lord to continue to keep you in his thoughts and I will wish you a Happy Birthday in heaven. Love you sis, always in my thought and prayers. Close
Thanks again for the time I called you out on Saturday game, I was there talking to you and God to please help out Jalen and Miles Team. There team is amazing, I know you and God must've enjoyed that game. They made it to the Championship. on the 5th inning the kids were down 1-6 ( they did do a few errors) and then on the 6th inning they tied the game, the next team was up, Jalens team did not let them score. Then Jalen's team scored 2 points. Then the next team was up and they only let them score 1 more so the final score was 7-6 we are going to the Championship on Thursday. Don't forget to watch it with us.
I just wanted to Thank you again, for all the times I ask you for anything, You never let me down , like yesturday on Jalen's and Miles Baseball game when they were 2-7 and the Boys team was losing 2 more innings to go, I really did not think they were going to make it, Since they were playing the team that was undeafeted. And I asked you to please help the team and all of a sudden the boys team scored 6 points and they Won the game 8-7. I miss you so much. I think of you all the time. All the good times we had, I tell everybody how we had such a good/great childhood, and of course I have to include the crazy stories of what we did. I will never find anybody that will relpace the special friendship we had. all the Jokes we use to do and say. Those were the Good ole days.